On moving on

Hindsight sure is 20/20.

Looking back, I never thought I would be a divorcee. Or childless at 32. Or figuring out how to find myself, love myself and what to do with my life after being in a relationship for over a decade.

Sure, I was bothered by those things for awhile. But I’ve come to accept and embrace them. They’re facts. Bullet points on my biography. Things that makes up my story, but also aren’t my identity.

Because there is so much life left to live. So much more to realize. New experiences to be had. New people to meet. New connections to be made and old connections begging to be renewed. Worlds you didn’t even know of, waiting to be discovered. And sometimes, to open yourself up to those things, you have to close other parts of your life.

To get to the next chapter, you have to turn the page. Sometimes that means making hard decisions and confronting things that scare you. Knowing when to fight and when to walk. I learned the hard way. I learned the lesson late. But better now than never. I’m grateful for the chance to hit refresh. Because it’s not a do-over or a new start. I now come with a little more baggage, some scars and wounds below the surface. I’m still me, just an updated version.

Change is scary. But it also presents opportunity.

I’ve learned to acknowledge pain. Feel it. Then to tell fear and anxiety to bug off. Look beyond it. Believe that things are brighter and better.

There are lots of things I never saw coming. Some were hard lessons to learn, some hurt other people, some challenged expectations. Some came out even better than I could have dreamed.

Pushing myself out of my comfort zone, taking risks, and actually enjoying the escape from my bubble, has been incredible.

Life is a funny thing. It throws you curveballs to keep you on your toes. It roughs you up. It slaps you in the face and kicks you to the ground. Sometimes it’s nasty and ugly and unfair. But other times it’s beautiful, awe-inspiring, full of hope and grace. Despite the downs, there are also ups. The sun does, in fact, shine again, if you let it.

You can let those bad moments keep you down, or you can dust yourself off, get up and move on. Take control. Fight back. It makes you stronger.

I have no idea what the future holds. But I am oh so excited to find out.

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